"You are not lazy, unmotivated, or stuck. You are stuck living in survival mode, you are exhausted. There's a difference." Put aside the fact that this working field is already tired enough.. What hurdles me right now is not knowing my working schedule.

I don't know if I'll be working straight 7 am - 9 pm for 5 days, then on the 6th day I'll be working night shift. Then after the night shift I won't know if I get an off day. Or worse, I get to know it's my off day on the day itself, only to realise that I won't have any off day.

I made it sound complicated, did I.

I find it hard to cope with unscheduled routine. It's not easy to work on night shift, only to know you will work again night shift on the day itself.

I'm a proud introvert. It's never been easy for me to work with people. But I cope. I just need a little breather and I'll be able to function. Not well, but hopefully, making someone's life better..

Worse ; you won't know when you will be deployed to another place, to an unknown location, for an unknown duration. No criteria, randomly picked.

Since the pandemic has been getting harsh, living in the middle of pandemic centre, it's getting worse.

20k positive cases isn't just a number, those are our family.
300 Brought-in-Dead isn't just a number, those are our family.
50 employers isn't just a number, those are our family..

Honestly I don't like to read anything to do with pandemic. I stopped sharing on my social medias, hid all the notifications from friends who like to update about it. It hurts a little. I'm sorry if anyone had to read this, despite you didn't want to. Just needed to put it in words.

Take care and stay safe.