Bicara dosa dan pahala - Hijrah Artis N

Sunday, October 25, 2020
Bila seseorang baik di mata khalayak ramai, kita puji melambung. Kita cerita pasal kebaikan dia, kita ukur tahap kebaikan dia.

Sepertimana juga bila dia buat perkara buruk di mata khalayak ramai, kita hina sekeji-kejinya. Kita cerita pasal keburukan dia, kita ukur tahap keburukan dia.

Kita tahu - cerita kebaikan seseorang, supaya orang lain termotivasi buat kebaikan yang sama juga. Tapi jujurlah, siapa je yang betul ikhlas rasa nak berubaha ke arah kebaikan?

Atau sebenarnya kita memang saja nak cari bahan untuk dibualkan tentang seseorang?

Nak jadikan berita, buat duit?
Nak dapatkan perhatian sebab tahu lebih?

Mungkin salah, mungkin betul.

Kalau perkara baik, tak apa. Niat adalah hak seseorang dan Allah sahaja. Tak layak untuk sesiapa pun pertikaikan.

Yang rasa sakit hati, geram, sebagai kita sama-sama manusia - bila seseorang tersilap langkah.

Kita hina sekeji-kejinya.

Buatlah apa pun.

Korban segalanya, dijemput Allah untuk tunaikan Haji - apa yang dikata?

"Dah menangis-nangis kat Arafah, retilah sikit pakai tudung elok-elok."

Siapa kita, nak ukur "elok-elok" tu? Betul, pasti, apa yang kita pakai, buat, cakap - dah cukup baik?

Mungkin ramai yang tak setuju, tapi saya memang tak setuju dengan gerakan "Tegur (= serang) artis secara terbuka atas nama cegah kemungkaran". Tegus tu tak salah, tapi jaraaaaaaangggg sangat sangat sangat jumpa teguran yang rasa sejuk hati. Biasanya teguran yang lemah lembut, berhikmah ni, tak dapat like. So hilang macam tu je.

Orang kita suka teguran yang lagi "kreatif dalam menghina", lagi ramai like, lagi tinggi pontensi untuk si artis dan pengguna sosial media lain baca.

Untuk apa nak sibukkan keburukan/kebaikan orang lain? Tanya diri kita, adakah pakaian kita hari ni lebih patuh & dekat kepada Allah daripada semalam? Pertuturan kita? Pemikiran kita? Pandangan kita? Banyaknya nak jaga. Tak ada masa nak sibuk ukur tepi kain orang lain.

Kalau baca sampai sini, nak minta tolong boleh? Bila ternampak saya, atau sesiapa pun - tersilap langkah suatu hari nanti. Terundur ke belakang, pemakaian kurang elok (walaupun masih tutup aurat), percakapan kasar - janganlah marah. Doa, doa, doa. Kalau tak berkebolehan tegur dengan kasih sayang, doa. Jangan buat orang makin jauh sebabkan kekurangan kita untuk tegur.

Jangan pentingkan diri sendiri, dengan alasan "ah apa aku kisah, janji tegur, dah selesai tugas aku,". Selesai tugas apa? Tujuan kita tegur, sebab kita sayang dia & nak dia balik ATAU ego diri sendiri untuk puas hati dah tegur?

Macam mana kita sayang seseorang yang cuba pakai purdah, kita faham hidayah milik Allah, macam tu juga bila dia terundur sikit. Hidayah milik Allah. Tak ada kena mengena dengan kita langsung. Sayanglah orang lain.

Bila rasa nak keji orang yang tak pakai tudung, tengok diri sendiri balik. Elok tak tudung kita? Labuh tepi bawah bahu? Belakng labuh? Depan tak ketat hingga nampak dada? Baju macam mana? Pergaulan kita macam mana? Ukur diri sendiri jommmmssss!


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"Dr, patient tak ada,"

Monday, October 19, 2020
Setakat Jam 4 pagi, on-call hari ni sangat tenang. Lepas selesai tugas saya, saya ke wad pula tolong kawan ambil darah dan sebagainya. Isnin kebiasaannya banyak darah pesakit yang perlu diambil. Pesakit yang perlu dipantau keadaan darah secara mingguan, kita ambil hari Isnin. 

So far so good. Tak terkejar-kejar, relax je kami di wad. Sempat lepak makan brownies, minum milo. Hehe. Department yang saya kerja sekarang, bukanlah department yang "eventful". Tapi dah nama pun kena duudk wad, ada kemungkinan kondisi pesakit boleh berubah tiba-tiba.

Saya sedang bersiap-siap untuk tugas office hour, tiba-tiba nurse datang. Masa tu dalam jam 5.30 am.

"Dr., cuba tengok patient A. Macam dah tak ada."

Huh? Tak ada apa ni? Patient jalan-jalan, hilangkan diri ke apa?

"Saya periksa vital signs dia 2 jam lepas, dalam 1 jam lepas saya bagi ubat - okay, sihat je." tambah nurse tadi.

Kami pergi untuk periksa pesakit tersebut, panggil kawan-kawan on call di tempat lain sekali. STAT. Ambil tindakan seperti biasa.

Sepanjang malam tadi, ada seorang pesakit lain yang keadaan dia kurang stabil. Kejap ok, kejap tak. Drastik perubahan dia, jadi untuk dia - memang kita perhati secara rapat.

Sampai lah jam 7 pagi baru selesai semuanya.. Jam 5.30 am ~ 6.30 am ni waktu ramai doktor bertugas sesi office hour masuk kerja. Katil pesakit ni pula diasing kerana jangkitan dia. Jadi kebanyakannya tak perasan pun kat belakang tengah gigih CPR.

Pengalaman baru hari ni ;
1. Hubungi Medical Officer dan maklumkan keadaan pesakit 2. Run ABG stat 3. Attend pesakit

Hakikat rumah sakit. Hari-hari tengok kematian. Saya sendiri cepat juga shift otak, bila pandang sebagai doktor - rasa okay. Tapi bila tiba-tiba shift sebagai waris - tersentak juga. Teringat terus, kehidupan kita kat dunia ni sekejap sangat. Bersedia ke tak kalau tiba-tiba ditarik nyawa?

Masa ambil darah, ada seorang pakcik tua ni. Sebut-sebut, "nampak mak kat sana,". Ni benda biasa, relax. Kita layan je. Cuma bila pegang tangan dia, kulit yang dah nipis, teringat kat ibu bapa sendiri.. Kalau Allah bagi kita rezeki ibu bapa yang besarkan kita ikut corak Islam, semoga kita dapat terus berbakti untuk mereka.

Hancur hati tengok orang tua duduk hospital sorang-sorang. Mengharapkan orang lain layan keperluan mereka.

Kepada anak-anak, kita nak hantar baby ke pengasuh pun risau kan? Tak akan mampu pengasuh tu jaga macam kita jaga anak sendiri. Bayarlah berapa harga pun.

Macam tu juga ibu bapa kita yang dah tua. Bayarlah mahal mana pun, tak semestinya orang asing boleh jaga mak ayah kita dengan baik. Tolong jangan bongkak, sebut "tu kan kerja nurse/doktor.". Sedih sangat-sangat bila anak lelaki, minta tolong nurse perempuan untuk tukarkan lampin ayah dia. Jagalah maruah ayah..
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My First Solo On-call

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Hello, have any of you got bored of my writing!? Haha. Sorryyyy I've just completed 1 month of new phase of life. The darkness seems a little less now. HO 1 month review coming soon..

I think this works for first poster (those in first posting of HO) ; where they won't place you alone at high risk place during on-call (night shift where less people are working). Places like Emergency Department, Wards, Peri.. Peri refers to "Peripheral", where the patient is in ward for some other reason than our concern. For example, a pregnant lady with broken fingers. My department treats the broken finger, but at the same time she has issue about her pregnancy.

I have been in on-call with senior all this while, and the day has come yesterday - for me to go solo lo lo lo lo lo lo.

And the place is Peri/Emergency Operation Theatre.

I will get ready for emergency cases need operation, and at the same time get ready for any referral cases for peri. In the morning, I will post the emergency cases for the day.

That is how it works in my place. It differes even in the same hospital, different department. Doesn't matter.

So I got the information about pending EMOT cases of the day, alhamdulillah only two. And 2 cases to see at peri, otherwise patients are okay. It's night anyway, we don't wanna disturb. Haha

APPARENTLY, I got the information about patient from ward has gone to OT at very last minute, I texted the surgeon ASAP - guess what he replied!?

"Patient on table already. OT has called me."

YA ALLAH I AM DEAD.

I ran like my cat in the morning when they're hungry and see me with cat foods. Phew, alhamdulillah got there earlier than the surgeon, and prepped the patient beforehand. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. He called the next patient immediately after that, so no issue.

EMOT went smooth. Peri is okay.

The next biggest hurdle is to post case in the morning.

Posting a case means to inform the Anaesthesiologist about the patient going for op, so they will decide whether patient is fit or not / require some correction orior to operation.

WE HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Why we have to know everything, and tell everything?

Because we're new, we don't know which is important / less important. We might miss something important which we thought unimportant, get what I mean? A senior taught this before. It looks cool to present like seniors, highlighting the important issues - because they know and have made sure everything is okay. Unlike us. So just present everything, it's okay to get scolded for telling unimportant things.

But of course, learn lah oi. Less important thing that you need to check yourself, no need to say later on. Once you're already capable of! Hehe

The patient I need to post this morning was difficult! Because I don't understand their disease progress. Two of them are okay, under Orthopaedics for clear reason, no issue.

Another 2 ; had blood transfused. Her blood is still abnormal. So I need to dig in what's causing her, so I can give information to the Anaesthesiologist whether she is fit for op or not..

The other 1 patient is bed ridden, with underlying so many diseases. His heart electrical reading doesn't look good. The department is different than I am in now. I learnt about it 1 year ago in medical school, so.. It was tough.

Alhamdulillah, in a hard time like this - there was a senior kind enough to help me with technical part. I do the presentation, study the patient part. She helped me with the ordering system on the computer. I just needed some presence actually. To calm me down. Haha

Can we all be like one of those people who actually lend help? If we can afford it.

Because this one person I don't favour personally, kept asking me,

"Aren't you done posting cases? Why haven't you gone back?"

No no must write in Malay,

"Kau bukan ke dah siap post case? Asal kau tak balik lagi?" with a smirk. Are you expecting me to say,

"Oh no, I haven't done with my job. I have been doing this too slow, spending almost 2 hours already." so you can feel good about yourself? Haha. She knows and was with me since morning - doesn't bother to offer a single help at all.

On my defense, I wasn't slow. Okay. This is my writing space, I deserve to feel how I feel.

One of the patient had blood transfused, completed at 7 am. So I had to wait until 9.30 am for the blood investigation after completing blood transfusion to come out. Only then, I can post and update to the anaesthesiologist.

Not to mention, the two cases was indeed complicated. At the end, the Anaesthesiologist asked to repeat some investigations, treat some urgent correction of her blood, and inform her back. Another one patient, she herself will assess at ward whether he is fit or not.

I am okay with being scolded if she's telling me what I should know. I learnt a lot only during this communication with Anaesthesiologist, now I know what's important etc. It's okay to feel stupid, don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace that you're stupid temporary, because you have not known yet.

Just keep learning everyday, and don't step on others to get on top.
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