Why I Don't Yell

By Athirah | Coral Tulip - Monday, July 06, 2020

We know the cliche reason of hurting someone, rude, unnecessary, losing patience for not to raise our voice.
We know the cliche reason of to be strict, to be clear, to be heard, for raising our voice.

So I'm not going to talk about those. You know the difference or raising voice and yell. Let's see it in different angle.

I know someone who yells. Let's call it, Andrew. Gender is unknown.

Andrew is a nice person as a whole. Has no typical characteristis of so-called "garbage" as what youth nowadays call it.

Except that he yells.

I was fine when I was younger whenever people yell. There are two kinds of people when talking ;
1. The one who talks
2. The one who listens

So obviously I'm the second one, otherwise I will not be able to write as much as I do now.

It felt nothing back then. I just don't bother.

Things have changed for the past half decades.

The words Andrew use are evolving. As we grow older, we tend to pick up more glossary and we are able to describe more in details.. even the hurtful ones.

At first I thought I am the too sensitive one, so I moved on with it. We can't change people but we can hange how we view things, right? When there's no way out, you just gotta.. improvise somehow.

But why is it different? Why is it that whenever Andrew raises his voice, and others do (for those reasons mentioned) - is different?

I caught Andrew's words recently. I know Andrew did not even notice.

"Let's just yell like always, so she will do it."

All this while all of what I thought raising voice for those clich reason are not for the reasons but just for the the sake of yelling?

Andrew really thought his yelling is what makes people do? What makes him to be heard?

Let's be realistic, Andrew.

How many people do things for someone? Yikes.

Most of the time people do things sincerely or because they want to do. We are all selfish, we want to earn the points so Allah will consider us into His heaven.

That's what makes human and cow different.

Cow moves when someone yell.

Human does not.

The question is, what is the extent of accepting someone's flaws? We can learn to accept life difference as in, not washing spoon, ways of laundry, off days, those daily life things we learn to accept during camping with strangers.

But is yelling and being disrecpectful (wow are you treating people like cow?) considered as flaws that people accept?

Andrew, in case you don't know, your words linger in their head for at least until tomorrow. Some weeks, months, or years. Especially if you highlight someone's insecurity. Are sure you like to live with the fact that you are hurting people without them standing in front of you?

Our lives are short.

If we can't brighten their day without them standing in front of us, at least be neutral. Let those yell stuck in your oesophagus. Swallow into your guts.

Think again, Andrew.

Has anyone ever tell your just a joke "funny"? Anyone ever laughed when you say "I was just joking"?

Nothing more hurtful than being told something hurtful, and being laughed afterwards.

Is someone's feeling just a joke to you?

Andrew, in case you do not know, you are the most sensible person everyone watches their mouths when talking to you. It shows on your face and your reaction is oblivious.

Is that the reason why you think it's a joke?

Is your limit of joking the moment it shows on someone's face?

Additional Notes

Why don't I yell back? I do. Every 10 yells, I will yell back the same once. To no surprise, Andrew thinks it's rude.

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5 Comment

  1. Yes, we can not change people. We only can look after ourselves.
    Maybe you can give a piece of advice to him/her? Telling what are you feeling about yelling.

  2. Busted. I know Andrew's gender hehe. Anyway, this is really a difficult situation. Even the louder yell can't make him defeated. I take that you have no choice to avoid but encounter him. Hmm if you don't mind my advice, since he aware that it's rude to him, twist it back on how the one he yelled at feels. How that's rude to you? What makes you feel and think so? Then what do you think about how people you yelled at feel? Maybe more like, fight the emotions instead of reactions. just saying. may he becomes a better man someday and you have the peace you deserve =)

  3. wow....thats a lot.....some people just dunt realise what "power" does words have....and yelling is an additional "power" that will hurt others....might give "permanent damage" too....and when people yell back at them....considered as rude...and they r not rude to yell at people?...do take care yaa...

  4. Sometimes those people think its ok for them to do it,but when others do it consider rude. The only way to wakes them up is by telling them up front what they did is wrong. Tell them repeatably until they bored haha.